The Pity Party is Over!

This pity party that I have been having for the past year or so is OFFICIALLY OVER! I have been feeling so sorry for myself, thinking "Oh, poor Dear, you are doomed to be fat, so you may as well EAT!"....BE GONE with that useless self-talk.

I need to expect more of and want more for myself. After all, if I stop demanding myself to be better, doesn't life stop being worthwhile? I am getting myself out of this slump, once and for all!

You are probably wondering what lead to this bit of determination. Last night, I stumbled upon a photo of me, at my best weight ever! It was from 2004. There I was, size 8, 165 pounds, looking just the same size as every other girl in the photo. And at the time, I thought I was so fat! Isn't it crazy?? Our minds do play tricks on us!

I've decided to re-join Weight Watchers this weekend. No more pity party for this girl, just ACTION! :)

I Had a Dream...

I had a dream last night. It was about me getting real about myself. I also did some real thinking last night. I am finding that it's hard to start doing physical things...like climbing stairs, or a ladder, or worrying that I will break a chair...NOT things I want to spend my time thinking about.

So today is one of those days where I am READY to start my journey. I was thinking - if I start with baby steps...they might not seem so hard. Lately, all I have wanted to do is sleep. Maybe if I start by moving a bit more (ie. walking), that might help. I need to gain some energy.

Also, I was thinking if I stop being so tired all the time, it would give me time to get into the kitchen and prepare better meals. Like a morning yogurt with berries....sounds easy, but not so when you can't drag yourself out of bed in the morning with five minutes to spare.

Yes, I think it all starts with gaining some energy. Now, to develop a plan. After work I find it hard to get outside - partially because it's been so cold these days (windy!), but also because of the dark - I'm not one who feels comfortable walking alone in the dark. So, maybe I need to start with a small lunchtime walk. Sure, I'm afraid to sweat and then have to get back to work, but we'll see. There are small solutions for that problem, if it arises.

Hopefully I can get something started...I need some energy!

The Way it Goes...

Well, this is how it always seems to go. One day I am determined that I need to lose weight, and the next day I am stuffing my face with anything I can get my hands on. *sigh* How do I make my resolve real and consistent?

Could it be that I just don't believe in myself?

Help Me Gain Strength!

Hi All! Well, I'm not sure how these blog things work, but I thought I needed some sort of new inspiration. You see, I'm a *BIG* girl. And I've tried so many ways to lose weight - Weight Watchers, South Beach, Exercise, etc. I have been successful in the past, going from 250 pounds and a size 24 down to 163 pounds (notice how I remember the EXACT number) and a size 10-12.

Now I am 268 pounds, and I don't know HOW to get the motivation to start anew. If anyone has any ideas, I would be pleased to hear any and all of them.

If any big girls or former big girls are out there and want to befriend someone like you....I am here, hoping this might be a great forum for us!

Cheers,

ChubBeGone