Week 1 Back @ Weight Watchers - Down 4.6 pounds!

I feel great! A week ago yesterday, I re-joined Weight Watchers (for the umpteenth time, I believe). Yesterday, at weigh-in, I was down 4.6 pounds!!! I feel so proud of myself! I re-joined with my co-worker, and I found Week 1 to be quite 'easy' with someone around to also eat healthy and to keep an eye on me. I think she would kick my butt if I came back to the office with a McD's bag...she is looking out for me.

At the end of it all, I feel the "desire" to lose weight. I feel the "drive" to lose the weight. I know I can do this...finally! Finally I have confidence in myself to get on with life and do what I need to do.

The next challenge, as I see it...is to be able to start moving again. I want to start by walking and go from there. I just have to make it interesting...maybe by downloading a few podcasts? I haven't really thought about that...maybe a 'book on mp3'? Do thoes exist?

I hope next week's weigh in is a good one. I'm going to do well this week and eat within my points allowance...

OMG - I am HUGE!

I am totally disgusted with myself. To the point where I am downright determined to make myself better. I have been taking "care" of the other aspects of my life - with my career advancement, my relationship with my boyfriend, home buying and decorating/organizing...but I have been neglecting the most important part: ME!

I can do better than what I have been doing. It's time to take a good look at how I've been neglecting myself, and it's time to TREAT myself right! This includes caring for my body (by eating healthy and moving more), my hair (I am in dire need of a new cut), etc.

I'm not "ashamed" of what I see in the mirror....rather I'm "ashamed" that I've been neglecting myself for this long. I am a great person who DESERVES to care for herself...like all of us! :)

Anyhow, onwards and upwards....

I am getting the hang of it...again!

Well, today has been a good day (so far!). I think my body is getting the hang of this healthy eating thing. I am finally not *starving* every minute of every day. Sure, I get hungry, but it isn't the gut wrenching *i'm going to starve* type of hungry. I'm lovin' the feeling of being in control, too. It really does wonders to my self esteem...

Today I was watching a bit of W Network on tv during lunch (I sometimes am able to go home for lunch). I realized after seeing an ad for "How To Look Good Naked Canada" that I need a gay guy friend to constantly tell me I'm fabulous and gorgeous, just like the host on the show. I open my mouth and say exactly that, and my boyfriend says: "Maybe I should do that" WOW! What a concept! A boyfriend who constantly compliments me and encourages me! I guess I sort of "forgot" or even took him for granted! Lucky me, I have a man who IS supportive (like an 18-hour bra)! ;)

Hope all of you are having a great day!

New Start, New Me

WOOOOAH BABY! I am THRILLED at the outcome of my recent "encounter" with my old photograph. I have STOPPED feeling sorry for myself and have started my journey to the new, improved, thinner version of me! I joined Weight Watchers again on February 20th (a Saturday). And so, my weekly weigh ins are on Saturday. Well, this weekend I was BEDAZZLED to have lost a whopping 3.2 pounds!!!!! How thrilling this felt for me! I can do this. I AM doing this!

I am ready for this "chub" to be gone ;)

The Pity Party is Over!

This pity party that I have been having for the past year or so is OFFICIALLY OVER! I have been feeling so sorry for myself, thinking "Oh, poor Dear, you are doomed to be fat, so you may as well EAT!"....BE GONE with that useless self-talk.

I need to expect more of and want more for myself. After all, if I stop demanding myself to be better, doesn't life stop being worthwhile? I am getting myself out of this slump, once and for all!

You are probably wondering what lead to this bit of determination. Last night, I stumbled upon a photo of me, at my best weight ever! It was from 2004. There I was, size 8, 165 pounds, looking just the same size as every other girl in the photo. And at the time, I thought I was so fat! Isn't it crazy?? Our minds do play tricks on us!

I've decided to re-join Weight Watchers this weekend. No more pity party for this girl, just ACTION! :)

I Had a Dream...

I had a dream last night. It was about me getting real about myself. I also did some real thinking last night. I am finding that it's hard to start doing physical things...like climbing stairs, or a ladder, or worrying that I will break a chair...NOT things I want to spend my time thinking about.

So today is one of those days where I am READY to start my journey. I was thinking - if I start with baby steps...they might not seem so hard. Lately, all I have wanted to do is sleep. Maybe if I start by moving a bit more (ie. walking), that might help. I need to gain some energy.

Also, I was thinking if I stop being so tired all the time, it would give me time to get into the kitchen and prepare better meals. Like a morning yogurt with berries....sounds easy, but not so when you can't drag yourself out of bed in the morning with five minutes to spare.

Yes, I think it all starts with gaining some energy. Now, to develop a plan. After work I find it hard to get outside - partially because it's been so cold these days (windy!), but also because of the dark - I'm not one who feels comfortable walking alone in the dark. So, maybe I need to start with a small lunchtime walk. Sure, I'm afraid to sweat and then have to get back to work, but we'll see. There are small solutions for that problem, if it arises.

Hopefully I can get something started...I need some energy!

The Way it Goes...

Well, this is how it always seems to go. One day I am determined that I need to lose weight, and the next day I am stuffing my face with anything I can get my hands on. *sigh* How do I make my resolve real and consistent?

Could it be that I just don't believe in myself?